My friend sent me a conversation he had with his gf’s ex on IM. I don’t want to post it here, but I will tell you that, basically, he asked her ex if he thought she was crazy, and her ex said yes.
A few things here before I even get into it:
1) A lot of guys would probably say their exes are crazy
2) More importantly, if your relationship is to the point where you need to ask your gs’ ex if he thought she was crazy, you have some pretty big relationship problems.
He asked me because I also have a crazy ex (I’m not just saying that. She actually is crazy) so I could provide some perspective. He asked if you should just give up on someone you love.
Short answer: yes, if they’re crazy and there’s no hope for fixing the relationship (hint: there’s usually not)
The long answer is what I told him:
She sounds crazy.
Understand that the reason you “love” her is just because of the chemicals that are in your brain. That doesn’t make it any less “real,” but sometimes it helps to understand what is happening. It’s like with someone who is addicted to heroin or crack… they know it’s bad for them, but they can’t stop doing it.
There came a point with me and my crazy ex where I realized that I didn’t even want to be with her anymore. Granted, it took longer than it should, but I hit that point, and I hit it hard. It got to the point where I would I would look at my phone and see that I didn’t have any new text messages, and I would be happy because I knew that meant she didn’t send me any texts trying to start some drama.
I would say for a few months before we broke up, I could logically realize that “this isn’t the kind of person I want to be with. This isn’t how I want to be treated.” But of course, I tried to make it work. And every single time she would create more drama. Every single time she would do something crazy. Every single time she would lie and manipulate. But she would talk about how she “wanted to work on things” so I was like good, me too.
Except she didn’t. She was just saying that to continue to string me along.
Continued in part 2…